A pair of years ago, ns was booked because that a speaking event that ns dreaded with every fiber of my being. It wasn’t because it remained in a dreary city or a bad venue. The wasn’t because it was a compelled attendance event and the audience didn’t want to be there. (Those are the worst by the way. The audience no you prior to you even walk ~ above stage.)

It wasn’t any of that.

You are watching: People getting on my nerves

It was due to the fact that the client drove me fully crazy.

She requested a conference contact months before the event and interrogated me for over an hour about every information of precisely what I would be speak on. She provided me step-by-step indict of every feasible scenario and also exactly what i would and also would no do. She wore me out with her questions and also instructions, and by the time I acquired off the phone, i was exhausted.

Then she requested one more follow-up conference speak to in i m sorry she recurring those same instructions multiple times—instructions the even included how to turn on the microphone. Seriously? walk she think I’ve never done this before?

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Then a couple of days ~ our 2nd call, she sent out me an email detailing out my instructions however again. Instructions that again outlined precisely what i would and would no do, instructions that told me again how to use a microphone, and instructions the told me exactly—I son you not—how to walk on stage. Her email also instructed me the we would be going over these accuse again in person when i arrived. Oh goody.

By this point, ns wasn’t simply annoyed. I was insulted. This lady to be unbelievable. She plainly had no to trust in my capacity or what she was paying for. She was treating me favor I was an idiot.

When I got to the event, i was simply breathing v the dread and trying to get it over through as quickly as possible.

Then something exciting happened. ns was up front top top stage during the sound check prior to the event, and I noticed she in the ago talking come the AV team.

“ . . . Okay, yet do you have actually the clickers? execute you have sound because that the video? will certainly you rotate off the music when our chairman walks ~ above stage? What around all the the strength cords—do you have all of the power cords?”

“Yes, yes, YES, okay?!” The expert AV team responded exasperated. “We’ve obtained it every under control, okay? This is what we do.”

And then I got it. It wasn’t simply me that this mrs was checking and double-checking. It to be everyone.

Even despite I regarded that the customer was simply annoying and insulting, that’s not what she to be trying to perform at all. She was just very, very detail-oriented. It wasn’t personal toward me. It to be just just how she to be wired.

Often, what us perceive as something personal about us is usually simply someone’s herbal personality conflicting v our own. Because that example,

“He doesn’t choose me.”This is what many people perceive indigenous high-D human being (measured by the key personality assessment) that are naturally blunt, direct and also decisive.

“She doesn’t to trust me to carry out the job.”

This is what many world perceive native high-C human being who space naturally information oriented and like to check, double-check and also triple-check things, like the customer at my speaking event.

“He won’t give me direction.”

This is what many human being perceive native high-S human being that naturally resist giving definitive instruction due to the fact that they desire everyone to acquire along.

“She isn’t interested in what I need to say.”

This is what many people perceive indigenous high-I civilization that naturally have actually a lot come say and usually talk an ext than castle listen. I am prefer this, through the way.

As ns was reminded during that speak event, most human being aren’t do the efforts to be difficult. They’re just different. That’s why it’s so essential to recognize your team members and also understand their natural personality styles. If you space in leadership, friend can’t be successful unless friend do.

Here in ~ Ramsey Solutions, we usage the disc personality assessment because that our team, however you can use whatever works the ideal for you. Which tool you use isn’t as crucial as just using something.

So prior to you speed into the crazy-hectic autumn season, make time this summer (when things often tend to be slower) come really obtain to recognize your team.

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Because if you don’t recognize your team, girlfriend can’t recognize them. And also if girlfriend can’t understand them, you absolutely can’t command them.

Leadership isn’t about leading business, projects, initiatives, strategies or bottom lines. It’s around leading world – even those civilization that are an extremely different indigenous you.